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nov 04, 2024

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monday, so as per usual i was a bit sluggish.

as well as the fact that i stayed up a bit late last night.

theres a chance rook may be coming over in feb!!

but shh, more info on that after i talk it over with my parents.

anyway,

there's these group of kids who don't seem to like me very much.

im not sure what exactly i did, but im assuming its cause they think im weird or something.

i used to hang out with them but i was a very awkward. i still kind of am, its something im working on.

after isolating myself for so long i had forgotten how to converse with others.

i used to be good friends with their "leader". but now he doesn't want anything to do with me.

it sucks cause we would talk about stuff together and shared our experiences.

i guess none of it mattered to him as much as it did to me.

ugh!!!! he pisses me off so much!!! him and his stupid fucking friends!!

they all think they're so cool cuz they smoke and act all nonchalant. and they constantly judge others.

i hate having to walk by them, seeing them waddle together like some stupid penguins.

fuck you mattias, i hate you. you think its cool to judge others just cause they're different than you and your friends.

just cause its the punk scene doesn't give you a right to be an unbearable asshole. I HATE U.

i wish i had friends... at times i feel like a loser. but ik im not. im somebody!!

but i don't want to throw my life away anymore. ive found a purpose, and ive realized that a lot of this is a social game.

nobody is truly "lesser" than someone. we're all equal. everyone deserves a chance.

everyone deserves to be heard. im gonna try to talk to more people, step out of my comfort zone.

im gonna see what stories they have to bring. nobody deserves to feel alone.

the school is doing a dia de los muertos event on friday. i want to celebrate the tradition this year.

in my life, ive never really celebrated the event. but now, things are different.

im going to go.

i've had this theory that dead may not be so dead after all.

theres this monarch butterfly that always follows me around. its been that way ever since the day i changed my life.

on that day, it landed on my hand. of all places, this butterfly chose to land on my hand.

so much stuff were going on in my life at the time and for a moment it seemed like everything stopped

i believe thats when my old self truly died. and i was born.

its been said that monarch butterflies are spirits of the dead. and that they are connection between the living and the dead.

so now i wonder, who could this be? what does this mean? why follow me? what is the message?

whose spirit is this? i have many questions, but not many answers right now.

a lot of people who inspire me have long since passed, but their stories stay with me forever. im gonna do them proud.

peaceland!

Yours truly,

Almost Omelette.